Understanding Your Child’s Perspective: Seeing Beyond the Job

by Jaz James

Hey Love,

Discovering that your child is working as a stripper can bring a whirlwind of emotions—confusion, fear, sadness, and even anger. It’s natural to wonder how they arrived at this path and why they made this choice. While it’s easy to focus solely on the job itself, it’s far more important to look deeper and try to understand the person behind the decision. By seeking to understand your child’s perspective, you open the door to empathy, compassion, and a stronger relationship.

Looking Beyond the Surface

Stripping is often a choice made for reasons that go beyond the surface. Financial need is one of the most common factors. The flexibility and potential income of this profession can be attractive to someone trying to pay off debt, support a family, or achieve goals like education or independence. For others, stripping might be tied to self-esteem or identity—some may feel empowered by the attention or validation, while others may be seeking a sense of control in their lives.

In some cases, past experiences or trauma may play a role. Struggles like abuse, neglect, or unstable relationships can lead to choices rooted in survival, not just desire. Your child’s decision to strip might not define who they are but rather reflect a moment in their life shaped by circumstances you may not fully understand yet. Instead of jumping to conclusions, consider the complexity of their journey.

Showing Empathy and Compassion

Empathy begins with listening. When you approach your child with curiosity rather than judgment, you create space for them to share their perspective. Ask open-ended questions, like, “Can you help me understand what led you to this decision?” or “What do you feel this job brings to your life right now?” These questions aren’t about approval or agreement—they’re about understanding.

Remember that showing empathy doesn’t mean you have to condone the choice. It means acknowledging your child’s feelings and experiences as valid, even if they differ from your own values. Offering compassion in the form of kind words, physical presence, or small acts of support can communicate your love more powerfully than any critique ever could.

Supporting Without Enabling

As you work to understand your child’s perspective, you may wrestle with the tension between offering support and maintaining your own boundaries. It’s okay to express your feelings about their choices in a loving and respectful way, but avoid ultimatums or shaming. Instead, focus on building a relationship that shows you are a safe and supportive presence in their life.

If your child’s decision stems from financial strain, explore whether there are other ways you can help. If self-esteem or past trauma is a factor, encourage them to seek counseling or therapy and offer to help them find resources. Sometimes, simply walking with your child as they navigate their own challenges can be the most powerful form of support.

Understanding your child’s perspective doesn’t mean you have to agree with or celebrate their choices. It means looking beyond the job and seeing the whole person—their struggles, strengths, and desires. As Proverbs 20:5 reminds us, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” By seeking insight and showing love, you can draw closer to your child and create a foundation of trust that allows for healing, growth, and connection.

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Jaz James is the director of Strip Church and founder of Lace Warriors, a strip club ministry that currently serves over 300 entertainers in West Texas and Northern Mexico.